Jonathan's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] Jonathan [ website | Livejournal. ] [ userinfo | deadjournal userinfo ] [ calendar | deadjournal calendar ]

[11 Jan 2005|07:09pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Elvis Costello - Jump Up ] Ha-ha, I spent most of my day playing video games at school. I love days like this. Ha-ha, I made like a two bucks playing poker in study hall for nickels. Baby, I'm high stack and you love it. I'm watching cartoons and listening to swing, while perusing a book on poker. This chai tastes like shit. I think I took two naps today, I don't remember. I love my short-term memory, or lacktherof. Good Times. So yeah, I look back and I think lots of things are simply a matter of chemistry. Moments aren't really influenced on thought, but gut. You look back with a sharp eye, but you never look ahead out of anything but a dirty periscope. -Jonathan Comments: Say something.

[11 Jan 2005|07:06pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Tiger Army - True Romance ] I love Rockabilly, Neorockabilly, Psychobilly, Swing. It's teh fun fuck yeah. I want to embrace the culture of the 20s, 40s and 50s. I've been watching a lot of old movies and listening to old music lately. I think there's something to be said about bygone eras, the sense of nostagia probably creates illusions. I want to know about the realities of the past. I want to start reading about the Beat Generation, I found that interesting a few months ago, lost interest, I'm going to rekindle said interest. I'm also interested in learning more about the roots of Rock and Roll, and the old time Jazz. I want to find good revival bands, of swing, rockabilly, and the like. Yeah, this was trendy like in '97, who cares. It was only trendy for a few months, it's a shitload better than this new-new-wave shit that's on the radio. I mean the Cherry Popping Daddies and Brian Setzer had some really good songs. I don't know why it didn't get mainstay popularity for a longer time. Probably because the public eye is boring. I hate post punk, I really do. So fucking gay. I don't like anything that you can't chill to. Androgynous homoerotic music, is not chill tunes, it's queer. I want to get rid of this new-wave and post-punk I downloaded and burned. I hate this tripe. But then again, there's people out there that like Monty Python and They Might Be Giants, so I'm sure there's people who like this shit. I've also got years of subscriptions to magazines I won't read that I'll give away. FHM,Maxim,Stuff,Cargo, a bunch of photography magazines i don't remember why i subscribed to , psychology today, skiing, golfing, field and stream, whatever. I've got a shitload. I believe media was meant to be shared. Furthermore, I'm not a polite person at all, I appease people. The only reason we die is because we accept it as an inevitabilty. I love catharsis. Comments: 1 Listened - Say something.

[07 Jan 2005|08:57pm] [ mood | pensive ] Forgive me, my Compatriots for my former state of mind. I've been thinking, lately, and I've got nothing to complain about. I've got plenty of close friends and intimate strangers in my life to make it interesting and fufilling, I've got a relatively comfortable situation, with a few of the expected and painful experiences one should forsee in Suburbia. In our state of affairs, in our lovely time and place, we look for excuses to look up or down, instead of realizing the true nature of our lifestyles. I'm seizing the next few weeks, months, whatever, to re-evaluate my situation, and build up my mind, body and soul with everything and everyone I can. Maybe things are looking up, or maybe I put a space heater in my room. You know what I hate? When your boxers come out of the wash with a huge rip in the seam, and you're stupid enough to put them on and not realize it so your junk is hanging out the underside. Comments: Say something.

[07 Jan 2005|06:04pm] [ mood | apathetic ] I've been taking the week out for introspective. I'm feeling alright, still numb. Spending more time with books, more time with friends, less time on my ass. Delving into a bit of mental expansion, keeping my mind off anything in particular. Hanging out with old friends, making some new ones, doing what's gotta be done to keep my head up high and my feet on the ground. New faces, new ideas, new scenes are what I need, and it's what I'm getting. Won a shitload at Poker over the break, probably going to have a Poker night or two this weekend, gonna call up the crew and keep shit rolling all weekend. Even quading up last Saturday didn't make my empty heart feel a thing. There's always next weekend. Still can't listen to half my CDs without thinking of her, still don't have the balls to take down the collage she gave me, or take the letters off my bulliten board. I'm too sentimental, but, she was amazing. I really do miss her. I miss kissing until my lips were numb, and holding her close enough to feel her heartbeat. I just question and requestion what the meaning of some of our more intimate dialoges were. She's a friend I don't want to lose, so I'll be fine taking whatever place in or out of her life she wants. I'm reading again, re-reading The Dhalai Lama's "The Art of Happiness", also reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, reading a bit of Ayn Rand's short works and essays, I dig her Philosophy as much as her fiction. Spending some lesuire time reading some pop magazines. Bought myself a stack of books to read, I love used books, they've got a feel to them. College shit is sent in, I'm probably going to Syracuse University, might just live at home. I want to save as much money as possible. It's all going to be very awkward commuting, I almost want to waste the ten grand on housing. I haven't really felt the desire to clean my room, so if any of my female friends wants to do that for me, I'd be much obliged. I haven't written this much in a journal for ages, it feels good, I might keep doing it. Sort of catharsis or whatever. I'm still not going to stop making fun of blogs though, ha. I've got two brand new Scrabble boards I've been dying to play on, this luxury board and a travel one; they're quite sweet. So stop reading this shit and come over already so I can whoop your ass. -jonathan Comments: Say something.

[28 Aug 2004|10:49am] v This little quiz pretty much summed up who I am. http://colorquiz.com/ My Results: Your Existing Situation Relatively inactive and in a static condition, while conflict of one sort or another prevents peace of mind. Unable to achieve relationships of the desired degree of mutual affection and understanding. Your Stress Sources Unfulfilled hopes have led to uncertainty and apprehension. Needs to feel secure and to avoid any further disappointment, and fears being passed over or losing standings and prestige. Doubts that things will be any better in the future and this negative attitude leads him to make exaggerated demands and to refuse to make reasonable compromises. Your Restrained Characteristics The situation is preventing him from establishing himself, but he feels he must make the best of things as they are. Trying to calm down and unwind after a period of over-agitation which has left him listless and devoid of energy. In need of peace and quiet; becomes irritable if this is denied him. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense. Able to obtain physical satisfaction from sexual activity but tends to hold aloof emotionally. Your Desired Objective Considers the existing circumstances disagreeable and over-demanding. Refuses to allow anything to influence his point of view. Your Actual Problem Disappointment and the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals have led to anxiety, emptiness, and an unadmitted self-contempt. His refusal to admit this leads to his adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude. Comments: Say something.

[13 Aug 2004|12:25am] Anyone who reads and posts in this shit needs to get a life. Comments: Say something.

[30 Jul 2004|03:55am] Get A Free I-Pod : My site, follow the directions - it works. Comments: Say something.

[28 Jun 2004|12:51am] Today was really great. I got out of bed really early because my mom was yelling at me. I feel good because today I getting my lip pierced! Finally! Mom said I could and she's signed the forms and EVERYTHING! I'm so happy. I just found out that I have been accepted into Harvard. And Yale. I don't know which to choose... oh, why is life so hard sometimes? Last night I had to finish my term paper on the history of pre-communist Russian society. I focussed on the needs of women. I think it's ok, but if I don't pass this I'll lose my scholarship. I want to tell the world that I love you all! You're all so special to me! I am updating this journal for the first time in ages, because I've been in prison. Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! But I don't know how to work it. Can you help me? I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go. I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, which makes me different enough to be interesting, but the same as all the other cool people with bipolar disorder. You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron. That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful. Created with the Gregor's Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™. Update your journal today! Powered by Rum and Monkey Go ahead, update your LiveJournal. Or, make a diff Comments: 4 Listened - Say something.

Hell yeah. [24 Apr 2004|12:08am] I don't care if it rains of freezes 'Long as I got my Plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car. Through my trials and tribulations And my travels through the nations With my Plastic Jesus I'll go far. Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus, Riding on the dashboard of my car I'm afraid He'll have to go. His magnets ruin my radio And if I have a wreck He'll leave a scar. Riding down a thoroughfare With His nose up in the air, A wreck may be ahead, but He don't mind. Trouble coming He don't see, He just keeps His eye on me And any other thing that lies behind. Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus, Riding on the dashboard of my car ... Though the sunshine on His back Make Him peel, chip and crack, A little patching keeps Him up to par. When I'm in a traffic jam He don't care if I say "damn" I can let all my curses roll Plastic Jesus doesn't hear 'Cause he has a plastic ear The man who invented plastic saved my soul. Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus, Riding on the dashboard of my car ... Once His robe was snowy white, Now it isn't quite so bright - Stained by the smoke of my cigar. If I weave around at night, And policemen think I'm tight, They never find my bottle - though they ask. Plastic Jesus shelters me, For His head comes off, you see He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask. Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus, Riding on the dashboard of my car ... Ride with me and have a dram Of the blood of the Lamb - Plastic Jesus is a holy bar. Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes, Long as I have my plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car I could go a hundred miles an hour Long as I got the Almighty Power Glued up there with my pair of fuzzy dice Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Through all trials and tribulations, We will travel every nation, With my plastic Jesus I'll go far. I don't care if it rains or freezes As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus Glued to the dashboard of my car, You can buy Him phosphorescent Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant, Take Him with you when you're travelling far I don't care if it's dark or scary Long as I have magnetic Mary Ridin' on the dashboard of my car I feel I'm protected amply I've got the whole damn Holy Family Riding on the dashboard of my car You can buy a Sweet Madonna Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a Pedestal of abalone shell Goin' ninety, I'm not wary 'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell I don't care what they say, I'm gonna Keep on prayin' to that pink madonna Melted to the dashboard of my car. I don't care if it bumps or jostles Long as I got the Twelve Apostles Bolted to the dashboard of my car Don't I have a pious mess Such a crowd of holiness Strung across the dashboard of my car No, I don't care if it rains or freezes Long as I have my plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car But I think he'll have to go His magnet ruins my radio And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar Riding through the thoroughfare With his nose up in the air A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind Trouble coming, he don't see He just keeps his eyes on me And any other thing that lies behind Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Though the sun shines on his back Makes him peel, chip, and crack A little patching keeps him up to par When pedestrians try to cross I let them know who's boss I never blow my horn or give them warning I ride all over town Trying to run them down And it's seldom that they live to see the morning Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car His halo fits just right And I use it as a sight And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far When I'm in a traffic jam He don't care if I say Damn I can let all sorts of curses roll Plastic Jesus doesn't hear For he has a plastic ear The man who invented plastic saved my soul Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Once his robe was snowy white Now it isn't quite so bright Stained by the smoke of my cigar God made Christ a Holy Jew God made Him a Christian too Paradoxes populate my car Joseph beams with a feigned elan From the shaggy dash of my furlined van Famous cuckold in the master plan Naughty Mary, smug and smiling Jesus dainty and beguiling Knee-deep in the piling of my van His message clear by night or day My phosphorescent plastic Gay Simpering from the dashboard of my van You can buy Him phosphorescent Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant, Take Him with you when you're travelling far. You can buy a Sweet Madonna Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a Pedestal of abalone shell. Goin' ninety, I'm not wary' Cause I've got my Virgin Mary, Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell. Rain and Snow are not an issue long as I got my plastic Vishnu Sittin on the dashboard of my car When I'm goin' fornicatin I got my ceramic Satan Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home The women know I'm on the level Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil Ridin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home Sneerin' from the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home Leering from the dashboard of my van I don't care if I'm broke or starvin' As long as I've got a fish named Darwin Glued to the trunklid of my car God, I'm feeling so evolved Drivin' with my problems solved Proclaiming what I think of what we are Riding home one foggy night, With my honey cuddled tight, I missed a curve and off the road we veered. My windshield got smashed-up good, And my darling graced the hood. Plastic Jesus, He had disappeared. Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus, No longer chides me with His holy grin. Doctors in the X-ray room Found Him in my darling's womb. Someday, He'll be born again! I don't care if it rains or freezes Long as I got my plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car He's the dude with the rusty nails, Walks on water, don't need no sails Riding on the dashboard of me car I don't care if the night is scary As long as I got the Virgin Mary Sittin' on the dashboard of my car. She don't slip and she don't slide Cuz her ass is magnetized Sittin' on the dashboard of my car. Comments: 6 Listened - Say something.

[12 Mar 2004|05:10pm] idiot Comments: 2 Listened - Say something.

[10 Mar 2004|04:16pm] I don't owe you anything I don't need to be nice to anyone, I don't need to say please, I don't need to say thank you. I don't need to aknowledge you. But I will, I'll do anything for anyone, so long as they don't get in my way or treat me wrong. Comments: Say something.

[23 Feb 2004|06:20pm] Watch Jim Jarmusch's Dead Man And read the works of William Blake Your day will be better. -jonathan Comments: Say something.

[20 Feb 2004|11:07pm] I really hate tele-dramas Comments: Say something.

[20 Feb 2004|07:14pm] I switched to a DVORAK keyboard layout, meaning, I can type faster then you, eventually. Comments: 3 Listened - Say something.

[16 Feb 2004|12:47pm] Journal Privatized. Comments: 3 Listened - Say something.

[16 Feb 2004|12:37am] Entry Privatized Comments: 3 Listened - Say something.

[10 Feb 2004|10:26pm] I've been thinking about the value I place on everything. I've come to the conclusion that it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks of me, it really comes down to what I take into my mind and body. Nothing mattered until someone told me it did, nothing mattered until it became bonded strong by the reinforcement of "others". You look in the mirror every time you walk by, not because you care about how you look, but because you're so desperately afraid someone will see your imperfections. Why value the values preconstructed by generations of salesmen and suckers; nothing you can buy matters, it's all about what you're selling. Why sell your soul for sainthood, break the mold and cast your own, become your own image of perfection, be content with where your going and make your own way. I'm sick of cold-cast cunts calling the shots. Blow your load of resentment and break away from the ideas of idealism and ignorance, forget the glossy prints and faded jeans, forget whatever it all means. The meaning of life is to do what you want, the purpose of life is procreation, we're like everything else, trying to spread ourselves like a sick-sighted slut, cheap thrills and broken ideals, it doesn't matter, the worms don't care. Freedom is in the mind. Comments: Say something.

[02 Feb 2004|11:59pm] A limited vocabulary, when used strongly, is much more effective then a large vocabulary used inaccurately. Less words, in general, say more. Keep it simple, stupid. You apparently can't even handle your current lexicon, put away the thesaurus, before anyone else's linguistics get as screwed as yours. Writing well, is simple, you say what you mean to say, words are defined, emotions are not; you work with what you have to say what you want. Large words, archaic words, have very defined meaning, you can't just use grand in place of big or good, grand means grand, not good. Comments: 1 Listened - Say something.

[02 Feb 2004|12:43am] Pete and Repeat eh? I swear I've had pets smarter then you people. Comments: 10 Listened - Say something.

[16 Jan 2004|08:16pm] [ mood | determined ] [ music | Bucky - Driver ] In out lovely modern society, it all comes down to your wallet. Everywhere you look, there's a marketing scheme, another pipe dream. Everything you believe, comes down to everything you've seen. So much wasted energy on brands and boredom. If I had money; I could buy your love, so they say. I don't know, but lately I've been thinking it to be quite true. If my parents, not me, had money I'd be in quite a different situation. I wouldn't have teeth like a pauper, I wouldn't dress in second-rate rags, I wouldn't be worrying about price-tags. Maybe I'm the victim, or maybe I'm the wiser. You're too in love with yourself anyway. Too bad you can't buy class. -jonathan Comments: 2 Listened - Say something.

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